The desire of self-actualisation is that of the human motivation to achieve his or her full potential through personal growth, peak experiences and deep fulfilment:
to become everything one is capable of becomingAbraham Maslow,
When you are completely connected to your purpose as a coach, you’ll find that not only are you generally happier and fulfilled as an individual, but you’ll also be able to do your best work and create amazing results for your clients. The ability to resonate and communicate with potential clients becomes much easier and you will notice that the ideas for services, programs and marketing flow like a chocolate fondue!
Knowing your purpose as a coach, not only helps to provide direction in your coaching practice but it’s also associated with better physical and mental health which are some of the reasons why it’s so important to seek out your purpose or North Star as it is now commonly referred to.
For many years psychologists have studied the effect of long term, meaningful goals in our lives. Often BHAGS – Big Hairy Audacious Goals can foster a sense of purpose, especially if they are the kind that have the potential to change the lives of others.
However finding your purpose can be the hardest part of this journey. It doesn’t come easily and isn’t necessarily what you are good at, which is why so many people go through extraordinary career changes. Add in the information age that we currently find ourselves in and all the opportunities to learn and grow and deepen our knowledge and it becomes hard to see the wood for the trees!
When you are connected to your North Star, you become more confident in your subject matter, people you talk to can feel your passion and energy and that in itself becomes a reason for people to be around you and even seek you out. This connection to your purpose also allows you to understand your clients pain points on a very deep level, again allowing for connections to be made and the ultimate goal of helping your clients achieve transformation. As a coach, working with clients requires some pretty significant results, especially as the coaching industry grows and in order to make a powerful impact in this industry, being connected with your purpose is a game changer.
So how do you find your purpose or North Star?
Many believe that finding your purpose is directly connected to your skills or special gifts and your passion, but that is only the tip of the iceberg. As mentioned earlier, when your purpose is connected to changing the lives of others, it kicks things up several notches. That doesn’t mean you have to surround yourself with people all the time, that’s not for everyone, but when you have a connection with what you are doing and how it potentially affects other people, the results can be mind blowing!
There are several tools available that will allow you to look at your strengths, personality and passions and these can be very helpful in creating a sense of direction, however the biggest tool is your own experience.
Oftentimes coaches have experienced certain situations in their lives where they have made a transformation. This can be a great place to start looking at where you can connect with your purpose. Going through your own transformation not only makes you a subject matter expert, but also allows you to internally feel the pain and see the behaviours that were evident before the transformation. You also know what worked and what didn’t for getting you through that transformation, so if you used specific tools, or a certain way of thinking, you can introduce these as tools in your own coaching practice.
If you look at world renowned coaches such as Brian Tracy, Anthony Robbins, Jack Canfield, Deepak Chopra, Louise Hay, they all have a world of pain in their past and they have all been able to use this pain to change their lives and the lives of others.
That doesn’t mean you have to have a life full of trauma to find your purpose and be a great coach, but it does show how drawing from your own experiences can help drive your purpose and your ability to connect with others.
Ask for feedback
If you are having trouble seeing how you can use your own experience to connect with your purpose, try asking others what they appreciate most about you. Sometimes it’s hard for us to see our own strengths or skills and so asking those that are closest to us can help provide this insight. If you have testimonials from clients, go through them and see if there is a pattern emerging as to what your clients found most beneficial or enlightening from working with you.
Write it out
Try writing out your story. What are the moments in your life that stick out for you the most, what were you able to learn in those moments, what do you look back on in hindsight that you would change? This can give you clarity to understand yourself more deeply and give you a framework that goes beyond the day to day.
Much of the time, finding our purpose is about discovering where we fit in. It’s one of the reasons why we see, even from an early age, kids forming relationships with others. What becomes evident though is how those first relationships connect and we see the emergence of subgroups or “cliques” and this continues all the way through our adolescence and into adulthood. Taking a moment to evaluate the types of people we have in our lives, what we do for them and what they do for us, can bring additional clarity as to what our purpose may be.
As an exercise for this ask yourself, “if you could only have 5 people come for dinner for the rest of your life, who would you choose?” This gives some amazing insight as to who and what you are connected to, maybe on a more subconscious level.
Ask yourself some hard questions
Here are some hard questions to consider that can help you to connect with your purpose
- What is true about you today that would make your 8-year-old self cry?
- What two qualities do you most enjoy expressing in the world?
- If you didn’t have a job/business how would you choose to fill your hours?
- What are your three key weaknesses?
- Where do you most find your inspiration?
- What have been your greatest career accomplishments?
- Where can you provide the most value for others?
- What individuals or groups do you most identify with?
- Who are your mentors and why?
- What does success mean to you?
By now I am hoping you are beginning to see some patterns emerging that are lighting the way forward and connecting you to your purpose, however if you are still having trouble seeing the bigger picture here are some tools that might help you.
- Your Energy Map – https://transformleaders.tv/your-energy-map/
- The Passion Test – https://www.thepassiontest.com/
- Barrett Values Personal Values Assessment – https://www.valuescentre.com/tools-assessments/pva/
- Purpose in life quiz – https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/quizzes/take_quiz/purpose_in_life
- Who are you meant to be? https://strivingstyles.com/striving-styles-personality-system
When it comes to finding your purpose as a coach, there is no right or wrong outcome and that is what makes this process harder to work through, However I can tell you that once you find that missing link and make that connection with your North Star, there will be no holding you back!
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